Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Stars At Night. . .

Today the goddess speaks about herself:
As I leaned into the fire, and looked up at the night sky, I thought how lucky I am to be able to see so many stars from my own back yard. I was also wishing that B would join me for a cozy chat by the chiminea. The minute we got home though, he had plopped himself down in front of the television to watch the food network. Gearing up for the big game tomorrow I guess; pre-game training for chefs if you will. He's cooking Christmas dinner for ten. And, although I will help, it is his show.
I really wanted to celebrate the completion of our new fence. There is a wonderful new privacy gate on our back porch now. It looks like a barn door. I love it! B never did join me. When the cold finally chased me indoors I found him asleep on the couch. He missed some good stars tonight that's for sure.
Solitary time is interesting. Sometimes I can get bogged down in anxious thoughts. Fortunately, tonight I was thinking about my connections with friends. There are many people that I would like to spend more time with. Taking time to do that is not so simple. I have two groups of girlfriends, two sets of sisters and several people I would like to draw into one of those groups. Each group has people who have a need to be insular. They feel safe if it's kept small. It's true that when I tried to get a big group of women together it got pretty unwieldy--difficult to be intimate in large numbers. Perplexing actually. I left feeling like it had been fun yet unsatisfying.
B and I were talking about that on the way home from a family function tonight. With 20 people to talk to he would just get a conversation going and there would be an interruption. He left feeling like he would have liked more time with each person. Whereas I avoided conversation there. Lacking any kind of party sparkle mood I didn't even observe; merely tried to stay upright. I have been pretty darned sick lately.
The answer, of course, is to invite all of my friends to sit around a big fire under the stars. Something about a fire outside lends itself to instant intimacy. So, as I form my plan of attack for bringing my many groups of friends together, the first thing I need is a bigger fire pit.
Peace and wishes for a warm fire under the stars from, The Goddess of Everything

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