Thursday, February 15, 2007

A Little Amped Up

Today the goddess speaks about herself:
Aaahhhhhh!!!! Is this day over yet?!
I have been busting it out all day. This morning I conducted a conference call while applying my eyeliner, attended several meetings in person, and over the phone. Plus, many many e-mails to keep everyone in the loop. This is so not me. I am not this person.
I like to spend my days with small children, and my nights with my honey or the girls or both.
I like the hardest part of my day to be when the students are hooligans in their pigtails and shiny, innocent face disguises.
KIDS! Kids are adorable.
Adults? Not so much. (Yes, a phrase coined by Jon Stewart)
Yesterday we were talking about Presidents' Day. Several of the kids wanted to know why we didn't go to school, and what they were expected to do that day to 'honor' the presidents.
I told them they could write a letter to the president. (Now I live in a largely conservative town,
some of these kids' parents don't think the abolition of slavery was necessarily a good thing).
I try not to bring up the current occupant of the White House. It is just all too depressing for a Progressive, Bleeding Heart like me to hear the dark-side opinions of adults sweetly intoned out of the mouths of babes.
Today was a little different. It must be a sign of the times (maybe those poll numbers are true) because so many of them raised their fists to say the prez was a bad guy.
So, when I suggested they write a letter they said, "He wouldn't listen to us; He does whatever he wants; He doesn't care about anybody". Wow.
Well, I assured them, regardless, they still have a voice. they can write, with respect, what they think the president should do, in their opinion. At the very least, they'll get a form letter back, on White House stationary. If they are very lucky they will get a glossy photo to throw their spit wads at, or perhaps store their gum upon. I know one of those things came in real handy for me in the early eighties. Think poor, unwed mother, college student trying to get an education, and find a sliding scale clinic while Reagan was president.
Think again sister!
Those were dark days.
Thank goodness I had that glossy photo, of the guy with the big hairdo and movie star smile, on which to take out my frustrations.
May peace and a clear conscience be yours from: The Goddess of Everything

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Can't Sleep

Today the goddess speaks about herself:
Can't sleep, can't sleep, can't sleep. . . . . . . . . .
Once again I was awakened by some unknown force only to lie in bed, feeling deprived of a full night's rest. Is it the damned moon shining in my window? Is it a surge of hormones knocking my brain into hyper drive at four in the morning? What? What? What?
I don't want to get up and start my day because I know that I will be drooping again two hours later. I have this surge from four to six. I have no idea what causes it, but I will have no problem blaming the moon. The very same moon that insists that I come outside to look at it. Never mind that it is twenty-eight degrees outside (that's below freezing, for you non-Americans). Never mind that there are wild animals alerted to my presence as I stand underneath its demanding glow, shaking my fist. Although I probably look too crazy to the bears, raccoons, coyotes, mountain lion, and fox to bother with. They are more than likely shaking their heads at the idiot standing in her 'Juicy' pajama bottoms and Cher, The Final Tour, t-shirt railing at the moon with waving fists and two feet of hair going in every direction.
Fine. It's big. It's bright. It lights up the night sky, and causes the waves to go in and out.It's a freaking force of nature. I get it. It's THE MOON!
Does it have to come out so many nights of the month; waning, waxing, gibbousing. It never stops. Night after night after night another phase insists that I personally, stand under it, and admire it's versatility and brightness. "Look at me, I'm full" "Look at me, I can make a crescent" Blah, blah, blah, blah, freakin' blah.
May peace and a dark bedroom be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Where Are Those Melanopsin Ganglion Cells When You Need Them?

Today the goddess speaks about herself.

It's a sunny day outside but, I choose to sit here in front of my portable luminaire. You know, the light box that is supposed to replicate sunlight for those with SAD. My annual Seasonal Affective Disorder started coming on a couple of weeks ago. It really hit last night. All of a sudden. The experience was very similar to feeling the 'whoosh' of serotonin leave my brain during PMS time.
I was just sitting in the big chair, the one that makes me feel like that Lily Tomlin character -- fill in the blank -- I can't remember her character's name; the little girl one, who sat in a big chair.
My big chair also has a giant ottoman so, my feet were up. I had my dinner plate on my lap. One minute I was enjoying my dinner and, caring about watching a particular show on TV. The next second I just didn't care about anything. I mechanically finished my dinner and kind of zoned out for an hour.
I went to bed very early in the hopes that I would feel better in the morning. Morning. Nada. Sigh.
I think my melanopsin proteins jumped ship, possibly my cones and rods as well. What's a SAD girl to do when she doesn't have enough melanopsin ganglion cells to trick her into feeling happy in the gloom of winter? I need some feedback here. Make it funny; I'm not interested in self-help. I've read all of the books. I need to laugh! Except-- wait-- I take that back. I do not want to be sent a lot of cute pictures of puppies and internet jokes that have been sent to me a million and one times already. (Trust me, there are no new ones). I need something bawdy, baby!
I need to kick up my heels and DANCE!!!!!
My remedy for my lack of melanopsin thingies is a laundry list of little things that may help.
1. Sit next to my light box for 30 minutes
2. Wear jeans to work on top of sexy underwear
3. Wear a sparkly top and pink lipstick
4. Make my students dance around me and sing 'She's The One', from A Chorus Line
5. Make slime, in Science, instead of doing the boring lesson that was planned
6. Buy a new pair of earrings
Retail therapy really helps a lot but, I don't love to shop when I am in this mood. Also, there are a limited number of stores in my town. I can however, find earrings at the local art gallery. Notice that there are no food treats on my list. Due to my my internal flora balancing, of late, I have no cravings. Damn. All I do is sit around losing weight. If a girl can lose weight just by sitting around, and still be feeling down in the dumps, you know this is not the normal blues. So,
I have a plan. A plan should be on my list of What To Do In Case My Melanopsin Proteins Jump Ship.(copyrighted title to my next book)
7. Make a plan to compensate for loss of melanopsin ganglion cells
I have my plan. Do you have yours? I'd love to read your list!
May peace and an abundance of melanopsin thingies be yours from, the Goddess of Everything