Sunday, August 24, 2008

So Many Happy Hours, So Little Time

Today the goddess speaks about herself:

The beloved and I spent a marvelous two days, one night in the big city of the Land of Port. Portland, to you newbies. We did it up right too. We bi-passed all of the cultural events and made our way from happy hour to happy hour. I even got the best mani-pedi in the known world. (The woman is a witch).

My beloved has sadly neglected me all summer. I INSISTED on a couple of days together. . .     . . . alone.
We started with a body work appointment. (I must have my organs manipulated -- it's an addiction of mine). It was my husband's first time with "she who intuits and manipulates". He was much impressed. He can now breathe with the full use of his lungs and bronchial passages. He is a convert. I had her work on my "anger issues" - more about that later.

After our body work, we hooked up for lunch at St. Honore. My husband lived in France for a year. He swears that St. Honore is as close to French cuisine as one can get. We satiated every sense, AND left with a box of French desserts for the morning. If you are ever having a hankering for 'real' french soup, bread, coffee, dessert . . . hoof it up to NW Thurman and 23rd Place, in Portland. I really couldn't imagine having room for more food, but I certainly had room for 'happy hour'. (I must mention here that I ran into our school counselor at New Renaissance book store, where I purchased Mandala coloring books for my students -- if you don't know how soothing it is to color a mandala design, then you are truly lacking in self-awareness; catch up!). Our lovely counselor has co-written a book on calming children through yoga. It is an amazing book, and coinkidinkily, she is going to be on my friend, Helen's, TV show next week. I was thrilled to have run into her. It is amazing how small the world truly is.

To elaborate on the smallness of the world, while my honey and I were walking hand in hand through the city we ran into someone else we knew. I wanted to get a mani-pedi at, Oasis, in the Pearl district. We breezed by to check out the operating hours. In so doing, we saw that, Susan, director of our family owned gallery, was enjoying a pedicure herself. I really think I should garner a deeper relationship with that woman -- we have so much in common. She once loaned me her copy of, The Other Boleyn Girl (The movie wasn't that good). Now, I see that she has perfect taste, not only in books and employment, but in self care as well. I am duly impressed.

We left Susan to leisurely stroll back to our Park Place condo. On the way we were sidetracked by a happy hour sign. Mmmmm . . . the best sweet and sour martini I have ever had, duck spring rolls, and a mango sauced, deep friend scallops. I was in heaven. That was at Sangori. We next skipped to Fanouille, for a cheese plate to go, and risotto with wild mushrooms, drenched in truffle oil. Truffle oil is like chocolate to me. We took our culinary, boxed treasures back to the condo, switched on the gas lit fireplace, and soaked ourselves in French take-away and Italian wine. I was transported to another realm. 

Too soon, my perfect time in the city had to end. First, we hooked up with the only man my husband allows on my, "God forbid if anything should happen to my husband", list, Jay. We took him to Laurelwood, for  the best garlic fries west of anywhere, and another trip to New Renaissance. Then, we headed home. A too short mini-vaca.

May peace and an eclectic city be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Water Parks, Crying Jags, and Still I Don't Sleep

Today the goddess speaks about herself:

Yesterday, I spent nearly four hours playing in the water with my niece and sister. It was a total blast. We went round and round in the current pool, went up the steep stairs over, and over to slide, hands over head, down the big spiral water slide, and played with every available water toy at the park. It was hot. We got crazy sun tans, and we were completely water logged by the time we rolled away in the hot, hot car to the taco place for dinner. I was the kind of tired that was meant for a deep, sound sleep. But NO! Not only did I  toss and turn, but we had a wicked huge lightening and thunder storm. I actually got scared and had to turn on all of the upstairs lights at my sister's house. Luckily she had escaped to the basement in an attempt to stay cool so she didn't know I was wasting her electricity. 

You'd think after a fun, but exhausting day, followed by little sleep, and a long hot car ride home with a crying jag I would be sawing logs like a logger in the redwoods.  It is not to be. Here I sit, writing about my woeful, non-sleeping existence. I WANT TO BE ASLEEP! I'd cry about it, but I don't think I have any tears left. When I arrived home, this evening, I was drained from the drive, the crying, and the oppressive humidity. I had a complete meltdown all over my husband. I made him so tired, he immediately fell asleep. Now I'm wondering why I didn't just point my car in the direction of the ocean. I'd certainly thought about it all morning. I haven't seen the ocean since March, and I was only an hour away. I think the combination of  weird, thunderclouds in the sky, and missing my husband, and wanting to be in my own bed sent me home instead. Now I'm thinking a long walk on the beach, surrounded by all of those negative ions might have done the trick. 

There is no beach at my house, and I don't like to walk at night next to the woods. (There is something in those trees watching, I just know it). I'm not even that crazy about having my back to the woods right this second with all of those big, non-covered, windows exposing me to the eyes of the nocturnal woodland creatures. So, no walk to wear me out. I'm going to have to crawl back into bed, and hope that the sandman remembers me for once. I probably turned him down for a date three decades ago, and that's why I have such lousy luck in bed (sleeping). I'd like to dream a little too. I'd like to dream about the water park. I think I could live there. I'm sure I could put up a little tent next to the picnic table area. I would love to have that current pool all to myself.

I don't know. I don't know how to sleep through the night, and I don't know how to quell my fear of being up by myself when I am so emotionally overwrought. Many a night, I have faced the woods to look up at the night sky, or taken a midnight walk with the dogs under a full moon. However, when I am this tired, the kind of tired that doesn't even have adjectives to describe it, I get jittery. I WILL climb back into bed, snuggle up to the snoring giant, and hope he is aware enough to wrap his arms around me, and maybe, just maybe, I will fall asleep.

May peace and sleep be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Today the goddess rants about herself:

Those 5 pounds are on top of the 12 pounds I've already gained since the end of July!!!!

May peace and access to a nudist colony be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Best Laid Plans

Today the goddess speaks about herself:

I can't seem to get done anything that really needs doing. My summer break is speeding by, and I haven't even gotten a handle on my bedroom closet. I've got the walking thing down, and the lying around thing down. I lost an entire day this week to a migraine. My head is still fuzzy. 

Today, I was nearly two hours into an epic walk when I realized that it was Wednesday. I was supposed to have met Kiggibaby at the gym in the morning. It was 12:30 when the memory shot through the top of my brain, and lodged in my shoe. Dang! I got up this morning and did everything I had planned to do the day before. The day I spent rocking back and forth and breathing in and out very, very deliberately.  I get the kind of migraines that begin with a loss of vision. It starts as if I am looking through a very narrow kaleidoscope, and keeps narrowing until my vision is completely gone. That's when every muscle in my body starts tightening up. Olguita's neurologist called it a 'headache-less migraine". Uh, dude, it hurts. I'm not alternately banging my head against the floor, and violently throwing up like the migraines of my past, but it's not "headache-less".  I spent all day waiting for my appointment to fix the stupid thing. Two hours getting it fixed with acupuncture, and the rest of the evening feeling sorry for myself having lost an entire day.

So, I got up today, and headed out for my walk. I completely forgot about the gym. I hope Kiggibaby forgives me. Today the walk, and dying my roots. I needed to clean the kitchen, pay bills, and fold the piles of laundry all over my bed, rocking chair, and the dryer. But, no. those things did not get done. I did think about how to organize myself.
I was thinking I would do it like a story outline. "Somebody, Wanted, But, So . . . "
"The goddess wanted the kitchen to be clean, but watching television got in the way so, she had Nicole do it on Thursday". Except Nicole doesn't clean the kitchen, and really, she isn't necessarily needed to vacuum and mop anymore since the doc OK'd me for all activities. It's just that she was already scheduled, AND she likes to vacuum and mop. I would be denying her pleasure as well as twenty-four bucks.

I answered the phone this evening. It was someone from Kaiser to schedule my MRI. I got to use my parichardial bovine card. She needed the information on it. When I was instructed to keep it with me at all times I have to admit, I kinda, sorta scoffed. I mean come on, are there heart valve police out there, who are going to pull me over, and check that I have my card? Apparently there are. There are, and they call after eight pm.  

I'm really, really tired. However, my bed is covered in whites and work out clothes. I have to fold before I can snuggle in between my soft, cool, white sheets. Darn, why did I put off my chores earlier? Tomorrow, I am going to be a good girl. Get those chores out of the way, apologize to Kiggibaby, work out, AND make time to lie around.

May peace and a plan for your day be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Today the goddess speaks about herself:

I think I had way too much body work done yesterday. I didn't sleep well, and my insides are turning. Too many toxins stirred up, and not enough drinking of the water. I remember to drink tons of water after a regular massage, but whatever Ruti does is NOT regular massage. She massaged my thyroid and aorta. That's definitely NOT regular. I'm sore, and tired and a tad disoriented. Too bad that I was supposed to spend the day cleaning house. I don't have much choice with company coming.  I don't want to lose Charise in a mountain of dog hair, disguised as a couch. 

I guess I'm good to vacuum now. The doc cleared me for everything. I was a bit surprised to learn that I am now allowed to use all of the machines at Curves. My chest is still sore. However, I hit them all yesterday without any repercussions. Unless the working out, on top of the body work, is contributing to my being up in the wee hours in discomfort. Nah. What I'd really like to do is go to yoga this morning. I would have to get one of the boys to take the dogs to the groomer. I COULD do that . I COULD ask them to clean the house too, but I'm not that delusional. 

My eldest son has been cranky with me lately. I haven't put in the time with him since He moved back home. It's got to be hard to live with your parents after five years. He was so happy to spend nearly every weekend with us last winter when he and his girlfriend went their separate ways. Home and Mommy were comforting then, I guess. Now he is looking ahead at months and months of sharing space with his annoying parents. We are kind of annoying sometimes. But, the boy does seem to have a short fuse lately. I'm thinking he is aware of his less than calm demeanor toward the world around him, but doesn't know how to temper his response to it. Look world, I've graduated from that higher learning place, now what? I had a baby to look after; there was no, now what? for me.  I TRIED there. The constant references to grandchildren, and sabotaging of the condoms didn't get me anywhere though. He is just going to have to face the gaping unknown. I am sure his strong character will prevail.

Unfortunately, what is prevailing around here is my facial hair. Lately, I eschew cover up and foundation (I know, Sondra, gasp!). That five o'clock shadow WILL not go away. Yuck it up, but when it happens to you, don't come  crying to me. For one thing, I don't have an answer. I'm still reeling from the laser holes burnt into my chin by a psycho hair removal technician. She caught me off guard with her perky, cute blonde routine. Then, she got me on that table, gave me the worst pain in my life AND burnt holes in my skin. I won't be going back. What to do, what to do? People used to constantly compliment me on my beautiful skin. Now, they are all like, "What's that smudge . . . Ohhhhhhh  . . . ".

I think I will take the little dog on an epic walk before she has to go to the groomer. The walk will distract me from my sore insides and my hairy outside. It will also impress my son.

May peace and nothing much to complain about be yours from: The Goddess of Everything.