Friday, May 18, 2007


Today the goddess speaks about herself:
Major stress time in my life, and it is capitol N o w.
Wednesday afternoon I drug my husband to the bar for straight shots. Then, he hauled me home for smoking and cursing in front of the outdoor fire. (I did all of the smoking and cursing; he built the fire -- we were made for each other)
Yesterday, I called up two other hot chicks, and we headed down to the pier for drinks in funny glasses with chips and seven different kinds of salsa. Sometimes you can only commiserate over mango and blackberry salsa. (It's a girl thing)
Two days of partying should have assuaged my restless soul but, tonight I find myself downing one limoncello after another, and licking the wrapper of an old chili-chocolate bar. Sadly, I am home alone. Not even the fear of gaining weight, from my excessive stress disorder, is slowing me down.
We are supposed to be having prohibition at the house. I climbed onto the kitchen bar stool, tossing the butt pillow aside, and rummaged through the liquor cabinet. The only bottles in there are filled with things even I wouldn't drink. Here is what I will NOT drink, even in desperation: triple sec, sake, gin, ancient kahlua, peppermint schnapps, and half a bottle of chambourg. There's vodka, but it is the special Icelandic vodka that hasn't been opened yet. I don't want to have to explain opening that for no special reason. Just as I was resigning myself to my Friday night alcohol free state, I remembered to check the freezer. Joy of joys. A shiny gold cap was sticking out from amongst the 3 cheese raviolis and the sweet potato fries.
Vodka! Or, so I assumed. As I pulled the long-necked bottle out it seemed to be very, very yellow in hue. Maybe lemon vodka? No, it was limoncello. Mmmm. . . the drink that Danny DeVito claimed he and George Clooney got wasted on the night before he went on The View.
I don't know where it came from or, who put it there but was I happy to see it. Icy cold, it is an amazing drink. (Kind of girlie for Danny and George, if you ask me).
What to drink it out of was my only thought. After snagging a martini glass from waaay back on the top shelf of the glasses we never use, I happily settled myself in front of the computer to watch last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Good thing I was drinking. The writers really let me down tonight. I am never watching that show again. No one had a happy ending. It sucked!
This morning, everyone at Curves wanted to talk about it but, they held back in deference to me. They should have just hashed it out. An ending episode like that deserves a good griping over with the girls while they are all in a sweaty, breathless oblivion.
I have nothing to do now except laundry for the weekend. Boring. I forgot to return a stupid movie rental from last night. I didn't even watch that movie. I didn't even rent that movie. Let the man return and pay for it. I'm going to have one last limoncello.
May peace and an ice cold martini be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

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