Sunday, November 8, 2009

Making It Better

Today the goddess speaks about herself:

I've been in an angry, transitional phase for over a year now. Nearly two, truth be told. First there was 'acceptance' then came anger. Not how it is supposed to work.

I accepted that I needed heart surgery. What followed was a brief time of healing the immediate wounds, and a long time of dealing with the scars.

I'm not done with the scar healing thing, but I am beginning to deal better.

At first, I was angry about the medications making me gain weight. Then, I was really angry about having to go back to work before I felt ready. Later, I was really, really angry about the scars AND going back to work full-time. I don't know that I can do anything about working. Life requires money. Money requires work. I could do something about the scars.

Last week I got a beautiful tattoo that covers one of my scars. It is a monarch butterfly. Now instead of looking down and seeing an ugly scar, I look down and see a beautiful butterfly. It's a start.

May anger lead you to take charge from, The Goddess of Everything.

6 comments:

Sister2 said...

Hey, I forgot to get a look at your tattoo. I'll be at Mom's on Saturday. Maybe I'll see you, then.

Karolina said...

Joan, you never cease to amaze me with your level of personal understanding and when you are ready to face what you know is there.

Congrats, two months later, but congrats nonetheless.

Karol

Anonymous said...
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Unknown said...

I'm just glad you found a way to deal with the beauty that is you! :D HUGS!

Unknown said...
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Michel said...

You gained the weight due to medicines and later you had to got to job although you were not feeling ok.All is natural and we cant move against nature.So just carry on.
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