Monday, December 31, 2007

Buckle Up. It's Going To Be A Bumpy Ride.

Today the goddess speaks about herself:

I'm feeling very moody, in a Bette Davis, All About Eve, sort of way.

I don't want to do anything productive. All I really want to do is retire to my boudoir with a bottle of liquor in one hand, and the TV remote in the other. My beloved isn't really getting me today, so he is practicing his expertly-honed avoidance techniques. OR, I should say that he was practicing those skills until he discovered that half of the chocolate covered cherries, and ALL of the chocolate covered cranberries are gone.
"We were going to take those to the party tonight", attempting to sound confronting -- Button it up, Buster! I am having ISSUES!

I don't want to see people. I don't want to do anything planned. And, I especially don't want anyone showing up at my house for a visit. I just really, really want to lie around with the remote in my hand. Really. It's the last day of 2007, and I think I want to end it with a whimper.
Some people don't want me to have what I want, thus the bumpy ride. Now, If I had that dress Bette is wearing perhaps I could handle the day with more grace. That is a damn sexy dress. Notice that it has sleeves. It has sleeves because no woman likes to expose her arms. 99% of all women do not like the way their arms look in sleeveless attire yet, 95% of all evening wear is sleeveless. Why is this? I don't get it. I have several evening gowns, and cocktail dresses; all of which are sans sleeves. I just ordered two today. NO FREAKING SLEEVES. However, they were 70% off. (I also bought a lovely wrap with the same discount).

We are going to a fabulous party tonight -- of course, that is what is expected of fabulous goddesses. I know that I will have a lot of fun. I know that I will look gorgeous, hot and sexy beyond words. That is not the point. I am in hibernation mode. Due to this randomly occurring manifestation I will moan and groan about having to get ready all day, torturing everyone (my husband) around me. Bumpity, bump, bump, bump. If only I had Bette's dress, maybe I wouldn't be so bitchy about doing something that requires me to change out of my pajamas, and leave the house.

May peace and flattering evening attire be yours from, The Goddess of Everything.

No comments: